Why It’s Time Black People Simply Disengage With White People In Discussing Race

Stop wasting your time, energy, brain cells, and peace of mind on arguing with people that don’t care a bit about you. Let’s just stop.

Thought For Food

I’ll start by quoting my Facebook status update from just last May:

“Dear decent white people on the interwebs,

Get your cousins.
Get your cousins, get your friends, get your fo’ folk, your aunties, your great grand uncles, your sister’s cousin baby momma’s auntie friend Sally, Jessie AND Raphael. Get your neighbor. Get your neighbor’s neighbor. Get your whoooooole neighborhood watch. Shit, get the whole damn white delegation.

Thanks with love,
Black management”

Of course the post gave a bunch of my followers a good chuckle, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t recognize and examine the fact that it came much more from a place of frustration than levity.
I was tired…

I was tired from sacrificing a few million once perfectly healthy brain cells reading through the comment sections of race-based web articles – thread after thread, chock full of black folks trying to navigate…

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Dinner or Dignity: Expecting the Poor to Remain Moral


A few days ago my son and I went grocery shopping. As a general rule, I do not take my baby with me to grocery shop because as any mother of young children – my son turns seven next month – will tell you, a trip for groceries with the children turns into an event laden with begging, tantrums and running through the aisles. This day, however, I wanted to be close to my boy for no other reason than the fact that I adore him, so I let him tag along.

Standing in aisle 5 as my son grabbed oatmeal, an older black woman approached selecting a box of oatmeal, then looking at the price, and finally replacing it. She walked away turning back to advise me, “If you have a car, you need to go to Walmart. Their prices are way cheaper.” I started to say, “I know…

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7 Signs of Sambo Syndrome and Coon Caping

Listen. Listen carefully. When I tell you this is a “Must Read”, that is exactly what I mean. If she didn’t come through with a good word there ain’t ever been one.

Get into this and your soul will be blessed.



You know that one uncle who’s strung out on crack but is always beating the family down that he doesn’t have a problem? Meanwhile he has four teeth and can fit through the crack in a door while it’s closed. That’s some of y’all. You show all the signs that you’re in the running for Massa’s MVP but swear you ain’t coonin’. But since I’m all about helping my people however hopeless they may seem, I’ve put together a list of the symptoms of Sambo Syndrome (aka Coon Caping) you may be ignoring:

1. When tragedy strikes the black community, your first concern is how your expressions of outrage will be received by your white friends and family.

White Tears

This one is first on the list because it’s the most common and the most severe. It’s a true sign that the Syndrome has consumed you. Never mind the fact that black…

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Children and Appropriate Touch

Laughing Baby  

I was reading this article at For Harriet about teaching children, especially little Black girls that they have a say in who touches them and showing affection. Her point was that it’s bad to force kids to kiss and hug people on demand, particularly strangers or relatives they aren’t close to.  I agree, however the author put the emphasis on the fact that kids aren’t property. That left the heart of the matter unsaid.

As a child, I remember relatives, family friends, and even strangers feeling entitled to kiss, hold, and touch children. Even if the child obviously didn’t want to.  Even if the child cried or showed other signs of distress.  Luckily for me, my parents never forced that on me. I think that’s very important, but not because I wasn’t their property.

I think it is hypocritical to teach children that no one can touch them, especially in a sexual way, while simultaneously making them touch and display affection to people when their parent/guardian says so. If a child has a right to reject sexual touch, they can only understand and act on that right if they can reject ALL touch. Even if it hurts an adults feelings. Or makes them upset. Or makes them seem rude.

How do you tell a child that kissing Aunt Jujube that they’ve never met before is right, but it’s wrong if the neighbor wants him/her to sit in his lap?

If no one listens when they show they don’t want to be touched, they won’t be able to differentiate. They will think they have no say in what people they don’t know or trust do to their bodies.

And that won’t improve as they get older. They will believe that they have to be “polite” and do what other people want them to do, especially concerning their bodies. And no wonder. They learn that some touching is bad. But they are forced to experience or give “good” touch when they don’t want to.

So if a peer or teacher touches them inappropriately. If a person they are dating pressures them sexually. If a stranger violates them. They have learned to be “polite”. They have learned to be accommodating in what may be harmful situations. They have learned that they have no right to control their bodies.

I’ve seen my cousins be forced to hug and kiss and touch. As a child just seeing it made me uncomfortable. And some of cousins were molested by those people who were allowed to have access to their bodies.

Don’t do that to your babies.

Am I saying that we should children as little adults who are fully capable of running their lives? No. They are children. They don’t have the life experience, knowledge, or maturity to make all their own decisions. I am saying guide them in healthy behavior. Let them know that their concerns are valid. Support them in setting boundaries. Above all else protect them.

I Hate Wal-Mart

Anyone who cares at all about justice and people’s ability to make a living wage, knows that Wal-Mart is the third circle of hell. Just based on the way they treat their employees. They suck.


Well I hate Wal-Mart for that of course, but for other reasons.

Before I get into that, let me say that I live in a small town and Wal-Mart is the only store within a 50 mile radius that has many of the things that I need to maintain my household. We have a small Family Dollar (I go there when I can find what I need) and a small Dollar General and Dollar Tree (I go there when possible also). But for things like detergent, dog food, underwear, cookware, etc. Wal-Mart is really the only option.

I said all that to say I’d never set foot in that store if I didn’t have to.

I never go until I have a list of several items that I can only get from there.  Otherwise, I try to make do with one of the other stores I mentioned and the grocery stores. I only go once every 2 months or so.

I dread going there.  I hate it.

Hate Walmart

One reason is because of the layout. If I go in through the garden section, which I do whenever possible because the parking is better on that end, I enter the store next to hair care, toiletries, makeup and such. I get what I need there. Then if I need detergent, or carpet cleaner, or some other cleaning item I have to go ALLLLDAWAAAAY to the other side of the building. And it’s a huge building.

That means there is no such thing as getting in and out quickly. I have to navigate aisles and people and merchandise just to make the trek. Then I have to move back through all that stuff just to pay for the items and get back to my truck. I hate it.

Speaking of people, I don’t know if this is just the people in my area or if there is something in Wal-Mart’s air, but the people at Wal-Mart are the most annoying I’ve ever encountered. I don’t mean the employees. I can understand them being a little hateful. I mean the customers.

They block the already tight aisles with their carts or their bodies. Consistently. And I usually have to ask to be excused several times just to get them to move enough so that I can get where I need to go. They stop suddenly and NEVER look behind them to see if anyone else may have been heading in the same direction. In the parking lot, they don’t yield for pedestrians at the crosswalks.


Once I was standing in line and a woman pushed her cart into me, left it there, and refused to apologize! I had to move to escape her cart. I hate it.

All of these things have occasionally happened at other stores, but only rarely. However, as surely as the sun rises, every time I go to Wal-Mart I already know any combination of these things will happen.

I hate Wal-mart with a fiery passion.