That’s Not How Any of This Works

We are living in a time when celebrities, politicians, and other people with visible platforms say a terrible/wrong thing only to issue a forced apology. The formula goes like this:

Famous Person: Says racist thing.

Public: That’s racist. You’re racist.

Famous Person: I’m sorry you didn’t agree with the racist thing. I’m not racist.

Looks familiar right?

Well the latest, and probably the worst case of 2015, comes to us courtesy of one Ms. Stacy Dash. First she said:

“The other bad girls–bad women–are the ones who like to be naughty, might go out and play and get hurt and then, you know…But the other thing about this is that it then blames the alcohol instead of the person who over-drinks. So it’s like, the same thing with guns. Guns don’t kill people; people kill people. Alcohol doesn’t get you drunk; you get yourself drunk.”

And:

“I would just like someone to tell me the rules. Are women strong enough to take care of themselves, or are they not strong enough to take care of themselves? Because we’re getting so many mixed messages. And I do feel for some of these fraternity guys because you look at UVA, none of them have been convicted of anything. So I think a lot of boys are feeling like the minute they step foot on college – let me finish, they step foot on college and they are immediately considered to be guilty. I mean girls are given rape whistles and boys aren’t allowed at frat parties – either women can handle liquor and make responsible choices or they can’t. And they’re a bunch of babies who need to be kept away from liquor and boys.”

After a well deserved backlash, by way of “apology” Ms. Dash said:

“After a failed attempt at humor about “good girls” and “naughty girls,” during my recent appearance on Outnumbered, I transitioned to the very serious issue of men blaming alcohol for their vile behavior. LET ME BE CLEAR: I am a victim of physical and sexual abuse. My point was that there IS NO EXCUSE for a man taking advantage of women under any circumstances. I believe that these universities focusing on alcohol consumption as a means to stop evil behavior takes the focus off the real issue of the objectification of women and how that can be prevented. I apologize to anyone who believed I was blaming the victims of these horrible acts.”

*shakes fists in the air*

A few questions if I may.

1. What was this supposed “attempt at humor”? I see nothing that could constitute a joke.  Not even irony or sarcasm. She was blatantly blaming women for being raped and managed to make men the victims. The stupid. It hurts!

2. As a victim of abuse, why would she even say she was trying to be funny? When is rape ever funny? Did she take Stupidity 101 or is she the professor?

3. How is an apology an apology if you only “apologize to anyone who believed I was blaming the victims of these horrible acts”? So you’re “apologizing” to the people who believed you meant the words that you said. That’s not how that works.

There are more questions I could ask, but I’ve run out of damns to give this woman.

We need to find a way to get her back to acting and off of FOX Allegedly News (why would ANY self-respecting Black person work there? I digress). Doesn’t Tyler Perry have another woe-is-me-where-is-Madea movie that he can give her a part in?

I’m out.

Welcome to my E-Hood

I just want to take a moment to thank the few people who have started following me. I really appreciate the fact that of all the things to see and do on the internet, you chose to check out my blog.  Welcome.

Based on the last few posts, it might seem like I’m perpetually raging about something. I can assure you I’m not. I am passionate about a few things. I’m passionate about issues plaguing the Black community.  I’m passionate about doing my small (read:mediocre) part to eradicate oppression everywhere.  I’m passionate about being a good wife, daughter, employee, writer,  and person. I could go on.

The point is that I really hope you won’t judge my entire existence based on a few strongly worded, angry sounding posts.

I look forward to keeping up with all that y’all are doing and I hope you stick around to see what goes on here.

Get comfy.

I Don’t Even Know What to Call This Because It Makes Me So Mad

Let me begin by saying I am not here for Iggy Azalea or any other culture vultures.  White people have a long, storied history of ridiculing Black people and our art. Then one or two or 10 of them will copy said art and suddenly it’s “new” and “edgy”. And profitable.  A white artist making Black art gains fame, money, and other markers of success faster and in more abundance than the Black originators could imagine. And often with less talent.

Despite receiving very valid critiques from Black legends of the genre she’s chosen to mimic, Iggy refuses to have a MODICUM of respect for their legacy or experience. She WILL NOT listen to what is being said or consider whether it has worth.  She dismisses it out of hand and makes herself a victim, or pretends that she is just “being herself”.

She is not being herself.  Her self is Australian.  Her self has an Australian accent.  Yet when she raps she copies the voice of a southern Black woman.  Really?  You’re being yourself when you mimic our voice and phrases? When talking about a life that you have NEVER lived? That’s being yourself?

No!

You are profiting from attributes natural to many Black women. Black women are held in the lowest regard for speaking, looking, and acting the way they do. You are a gimmick. You gleefully pick and choose the parts of our being and our hip hop culture that YOU enjoy and use those for your own gain. You don’t care about any of the issues that effect us, or about the way your caricature affects us. And in a few years, when you tire of putting on this act of Blackness, you will throw it aside and continue reaping all the benefits of your whiteness. Black women can chance the way we speak, look, and behave but we can not change the Blackness that is the root of our oppression.

Recently this woman had the unmitigated gall to disregard the thoughtful criticisms of our Ladies Eve and Jill Scott. Bish what? With all the ways you are stealing from us, you have the nerve to reduce our innovators to merely “haters” who are “jealous”? No one is stereotyping you! You are stereotyping US! When ANYONE dares to criticize you, you have Black men everywhere, especially TI, coming to your defense.  At the same time they defend you and your right to do what you do, they denigrate Black women without hesitation and to resounding applause.  We’re stereotyping you! Tuh! By asking that when you “perform” you do it with your own voice. Girl, Bye!

Miley Cyrus tried on Blackness for a while as a way to separate herself from her child star image.  Thankfully, she has moved on.  I’ll be relieved when Iggy does the same.

Sh*t White Feminists Say to Black Feminists (and How to Counter Them)

When white feminists ask us to temper ourselves, they are saying, “Give in to the status quo.” They are saying, “You have no right to meet your dehumanisation, exploitation, and oppression at the hands of white people with righteous anger. How dare you be visibly shaken!”. They are saying that they are more dismayed at our reactions to racism than with racism itself.

via Sh*t White Feminists Say to Black Feminists (and How to Counter Them).

Go read this!

On Rat Bastards

Chris “Ludacris” Bridges makes me sick!

I was a longtime fan of his, but no more. I was a young adult when he released his debut album, and I have enjoyed his music ever since. But… *deep breath* According to People, this man-child and his new wife have successfully achieved their goal of ripping his 13-month-old daughter away from her mother for what appears to be no other reason than spite. He decided to seek primary custody of this baby AFTER her mother sought to raise the amount of his child support payments. Throughout the process I have not heard ANYTHING to suggest she was an unfit parent. Not one thing.

Lawd help me.

I don’t understand how or why a judge would take a baby away from it’s mother when there is not even a whisper that she’s an unfit parent!  I hurt so much for this woman.  But let me count the ways that Christopher is really to blame and has become the poster child for fuckboys everywhere.

1. He could have chosen to contest raising the child support.  That was a real option.  He also could have sought joint custody. He considered it and said to himself, “Nah. I’mma just take the baby. That’ll put an end to that.” He spent money on lawyers to get custody.  He could have paid those same lawyers to squash the child support payment request. Instead he ripped his infant from her mother. Only a raggedy, spiteful, petty little man would do that.

2. He married his girlfriend a month before going to court in an attempt to show his home would be better for the baby. I’m convinced that’s what he did.  Here’s why. He and Eudoxie dated from 2009 to the end of 2014. He proposed to and married her in the same day, just before the court date, and announced it on Instagram with a caption that said “Why wait?”. Why wait?? Because you’ve waited this long! And now you’re pressed? Could I be wrong about this? Absolutely! But a fuckboy of this magnitude is obviously capable of anything.

I wrote a few paragraphs up that he and Eudoxie did this together. I’m not sure if she really had a say, but she stood by and let it happen at the very least. Here’s how she’s an accomplice to his potato head shenanigans.

1. She married him.  She has been with that man a looooong time. I don’t believe it was possible that she didn’t know what he was trying to do by marrying her so suddenly. She may have felt pressured to go along with it. After all, she gave up her dream of becoming a doctor and dropped out of college to be with him. That was her choice to make and I support women making their own choices.  But having done that, and not having a career of her own, she became dependent on him in a way that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. At any rate, by marrying him she became an active participant in what I believe was his mean-spirited plan to gain primary custody of his child. I don’t think many women would do that to a mother who loves and takes proper care of her child. But maybe that’s just me.

*Shrugs*

I said all of that to say I AM DONE WITH CHRISTOPHER BRIDGES.  He can take a long walk off a short pier for all I care.  And I hope Eudoxie gets a backbone and does the right thing, but I find it unlikely. That poor baby.